Elliott Punk'd Himself

I tried to tell Janine that the boys aren't old enough to be left without a babysitter. When we got home from dinner, we found Elliott drinking cheap whiskey from his sippy cup while cranking the Sex Pistols on the stereo...Boone and Warren were nowhere to be found.

Nothing beats an STB

Paying no notice to the quadrunners buzzing around him, Raskin — a consummate drinker — samples a delicious Schwartz Tropical Breeze on Dec. 27, just five months shy of Tea & Crumpets IV.

A ménage á trois ... or, Schwartz coming to terms with his inner feelings

Today I distributed a photo, at right, from Guys Weekend of Schwartz and Scott appearing to copulate while they were ostensibly trying to roust that inveterate drinkin' puss D.W., who had checked out early. I slugged it "The Gayest Photo Ever Taken."

Below is the transcript of a Facebook chat in which Rhiannon tries to explain to Michael why it was so gay (as if the looks of pure pleasure on our fornicators' faces was insufficient evidence).

7:14pm Michael what was gay about it?
7:15pm Rhiannon no dear, the question is: what wasn't gay about it?
7:16pm Michael see, i was on top. so i am not doing anything gay. THEY might be, but not me.
7:19pm Michael right?
7:20pm Rhiannon you are making the gayest face on earth
ok ok
let's put it this way
7:20pm Michael that, ma'am, is just my regular face.
7:21pm Rhiannon your face is showing pure enjoyment and pleasure in response to the gay things the bottom gay guy is doing to you
=GAY
7:21pm Michael he is not doing it to me...he is doing it at the end of me.
7:22pm Rhiannon right
still gay
7:22pm Michael i'm wearing an NRA shirt!
7:23pm Rhiannon so
that does not excuse any homo activities
you could be wearing a shirt that says "I LOVE WOMEN"
but the pic is still totally gay
7:25pm Michael woMAN
only one.
7:25pm Rhiannon nice try
still gay

The Great Limoncello Incident of 2009

As Schwartz, DW and I made our way to the Bellagio to meet up with Scott and Rudy I briefly feared they were shopping — I mean, Olives might have been some designer store in which Rudy could find the latest fashions — but, I thought, it's the Saturday of Man Weekend; that cannot be.

I was quite relieved to find that Olives is, in fact, a nice restaurant/bar nestled among the Bellagio's high-end shops. Scott and Rudy were having Peroni's Nastro Azzuro and had ordered Junípero on the rocks.

A bit later Scott turned around and was excited to see Schwartz ordering a round of drinks — an unusual occurance, to be sure; but his excitement was short-lived when it was determined that Schwartz's round was actually ... Limoncello, that sweet-and-sour cocktail beloved by women from Santee to Siena.

By a 4-1 vote it was quickly decided that Schwartz's drink-selecting privileges were revoked for a period of at least one year.

Thank You: Mini T&C 2009

Ched,
Many thanks to you for hosting Mini T&C 2009. Visiting with friends was great, drinks were plentiful... and our host was gracious. Drinking gin at the Bellagio was fun ... I'm sure the Freakin Frog was fun for those that attended and in the future, can we not piss off the wait staff at a mob run restaurant. Although I'm not really sure the taxi cab driver was fooled by your Rudolfo Laspari accent, Scott did follow through from the story explaining that his older brother was from the old country.

Looking forward to T&C next year - hoping everyone can come and we can arrive around the same day so Scott doesn't put me to work again.

Rudy

Vegas Trip

Scott and I have setup a trip for Vegas from October 16 through October 18. I only have one room setup since no one, other than me and Scott, has committed to going. Let me know if you can make it and I can setup another room. We are staying at the Las Vegas Hilton.

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

New Americans Boone, Warren and Elliott Whitney got their first tastes of their new country's national pastime on July 5 at Rangers Ballpark.

Elliott seemed not to notice that a baseball game was taking place on the big, green field below him. He was, however, a confirmed fan of Goldfish crackers.


Boone roots on his hometown Texas Rangers (they beat the Tampa Bay Rays, 5-2), while Warren suffers from a bout of Short Attention Span Theater.


I believe the Rangers' second-baseman had just booted a routine grounder. Boone, the best baseball fan among the young Whitneys, was clearly displeased.

(Photos by Ooo Che)